Sexual Evolution: Neanderthals to Online Dating

Posted: August 26, 2010 in Culture, Technology
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Yeah. This guys looks like a real winner. (

Finding Mrs. Right, for some men, can be a long road of crazies, clingy chicks, and shallow romps. For women, however, searching for Mr. Right can be a downright nightmare. The options seem so limited.

Bars? No, too many stupid drunk people.

Nightclubs? No, too noisy to have a meaningful conversation.

Work? Only if risking your job and/or possibly hauling your personal drama into the office appeals to you.

And even when a woman does find someone she likes, there’s no way to know if, underneath his charming exterior, he’s not some kind of serial killer who secretly plans to mount your head above his fireplace. (Note to the ladies: Never date a man who owns a van.)

So what about the mysterious world of online dating? Shady? Desperate? The odds of meeting a weirdo, who licks his computer monitor during a web chat, are just too high?

We’ve all heard the horror stories, everything from men with no teeth to down right scumbags expecting sex in exchange for a happy meal and a clumsy grope under the table. (The least they could do is spring for a freakin’ big-person sized chicken nuggets and an apple pie, but I digress.) But despite the obvious negatives, could it really be more than a superficial meat market for the jaded and lovelorn? Fellow blogger, Mika, from the Ignite Rockford, recently took a rare plunge into promoting the positives of the online dating scene.

In addition to being able to investigate deal breakers up front – such as personal, religious, and political differences – as well as the ability to softening the blow of rejection, Mika had this to contribute on the topic:

Work/life balance is just plain hard to achieve, and that means sometimes that leaves little room for dating. I don’t know about all of you, but I just don’t have the time to go on dates to find out if I’m compatible with someone. This point harkens back to the first pro I listed — rather than wasting your precious time on dates with people who are nowhere near a good match for you, your dates will (ideally) be more productive. I know from personal experience this isn’t always the case, but I feel much more prepared going into dates with people I’ve met online because I’ve got way more background info on them than I did, say, on my now ex who I met in a bar and exchanged numbers with.

– Mika, “Have you tried an online dating?,” July 23, 2010

I’ve never tried online dating myself, but can see how some of the pros might lead someone to try it out. We’re all lonely a-holes looking to share our lives with another a-hole who is just attractive and smart enough not to be overwhelmingly annoying. I’ve gotta wonder though, when you’re only meeting people who appear to be a perfect match on paper (or web), doesn’t that take away a little bit of the magic of meeting someone new? How about the idea of opposites attract? If we’re too busy to try something or someone on (in a figurative sense), how will we ever figure out what we’re actually looking for?

Online dating also seems a little lazy to me. If you don’t have the time to find the right person, so much so that you’re willing to click through photos of potential felons and rapist to find someone you might be willing to spend the rest of your free time with, why are you looking for a relationship in the first place?

Following the invention of the Internet, the way our society and culture operates was bound to change. We’re able to connect with people we never otherwise would have and take paths in our lives never before possible. I suppose it’s happened throughout history from the time of the Neanderthals.

  • Prehistoric: First it was Bam Bam banging Pebbles over the head with a club and dragging her away. Manly and romantic.
  • Circa between B.C. to A.D: Women were considered property so the only thing a man needed was a few pence and an overactive libido.
  • Victorian Times: Showing a little ankle was considered getting to 1st base. (HOT!!)
  • 1960s to Present: We went from exchanging first names while humping in a tent at Woodstock to exchanging email addresses, sexting, and dating as a preemptive, zero-contact, sport.

Dating and relationships over history has forever been wacky, racked with repression and pitfalls, but has the evolution brought us to a better place or just a more impersonal one?

Whether you’re dating online or doing it the old fashion way, there’s always a risk. A-holes are everywhere, there’s no getting around that.  However, I still can’t help being a traditional girl regardless. Overcoming shyness, confronting rejection, and less than ideal relationships and experiences is all a part of what makes us who we are. You’ve gotta kiss a few frogs before you’ll find your prince.

  1. Bob says:

    I have actually dated on line. Never being much of a bar person, even in my university days. I find that by in large people are pretty honest about what they are looking for and who they are. Pretenders are quickly found out and outed in forums.

    But more to the point it really doesn’t make much sense to lie outrageously on-line if you have the intent of meeting someone for more than just a night. They will see if you’re 30 pounds over weight or have skin like the surface of the moon (actually happened to me once). So it works in your favour to just tell it like it is.

    Me I am a strapping 6’6″ muscular guy, I enjoy working on top fuel dragsters when I am not volunteering at the local orphanage for children with swollen earlobes.
    I like long walks on the beach, jazz, and setting fires to things while fantasizing about being the prettiest girl in school.

    See like I said honesty is the best policy.

    • natinanorton says:

      You sound like quite a catch, Bob. 🙂

      It’s been said that, because most dating sites require a membership payment, you’re less likely to run into crazies, but even criminals have money. While I’m sure many on these sites are honest, I’m still not sold. It’s still just too impersonal. Also, avoiding finding myself in a van down by the river, I think, is a pretty good policy too. 🙂


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